Hi friends!
We are all gifted with a passion to give for the greater good. It's likely we've given more than we should have one time or another. We have talked about core values and the importance of self-care, so we are fully aware that our time is valuable. This Table Setting is our chance to get to the nitty gritty of getting to the point so that we can commit our time efficiently and within our values. I see a decision matrix here.... stay with me.
An acquaintance reaches out and asks to meet for coffee. You ask: What do you want to discuss?
A meeting is scheduled with a vague subject. You ask: What is the agenda?
Your partner calls during the day. You ask: Do you need something from me right now or can it wait?
Let's dig into that first example. If the answer is to discuss something that is interesting to you what would you ask next? Maybe you'd think, is this conversation important to my values or goals in life? If yes, then we continue on. How much of my time am I willing to provide? Do I need to schedule this now or in a couple of weeks (urgency)?
If any answer is no, how do you respond? Maybe, something like, this sounds like an interesting conversation, but my calendar is booked up at this time. OR Thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately, this topic is not something that I am all that curious about. I know x-resource may be a good option to reach out to.
There's so much tied to etiquette and expected norms of how women should respond to others, especially when you want to say 'no'. I love this TED Talk Luvvie Ajayi Jones: Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. She talks about being a domino of change in the face of fear. This quote hits home: Fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose
Questions to think about:
How would you respond in that first example? Have you had this experience before?
How do you ask for more detail/clarity around a request before committing your time?
When do you decide enough is enough with something that has been going on for a while and it's not serving you like it used to?
What are your strategies for taking back your time?
What do meeting invites look like when you schedule them?